I usually just write a certain part of my book that pops in my mind, and can you guys please read it? I’m eleven, but that isn’t an excuse if my writing is bad. I can take any appropriate criticism for my writing. This is writing from scratch right on here. Hope you like it, oh, BTW, the main character’s name is Mist:
“We’re going to make it though this, Mist, just don’t loose me.” James whispered, his voice still straining.
“I’ll be OK,” I coughed. “Plus, when did you ever worry about someone or express any feelings?”
“I’m not emo.”
I had my cough attack again along with doctors running by my stretcher.
“Just p-promise me that you’ll be OK,” James stammered.
“I wish I had a video camera to take down those words,” I joked, and coughed again. “Yeah, I promise … are you OK?”
“You’re almost dead and you ask me that?” James asked, and then then was stopped outside the double doors by the annoying nurse from last week.
I now understand why many people has died in the ER; it’s so gloomy! White walls, smell of “too-clean”, and faceless doctors trying to save your life. The doctors took out the ten bullets in my body, and, when taking out the eleventh one out, they hit one of my main arteries, and my heart beat started to wear off, and they yelled for the crash cart.
“Charge!” warned Doctor 1.
“Go!” commanded Doctor 2.
My body jolt up lifelessly, and they tried again, knowing in their heads that I wasn’t going to make it.
Again, my body jolt up, but I was still unconsious.
It didn’t work. The monitor made the noise Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep meaning that my heartbeat was gone. I died.
The three doctors walked out, and saw James, cleaned up now and changed out of his blood-soak clothes, and gave him the bad news. James took it better than he thought.
“You just couldn’t save her?” he asked, but more talking to himself.
“I’m sorry,” said Doctor 1.
James was on the way back to the headquarters in the SUV Mist owned when his cell rang. He tapped the “answer” button on the screen, and put it up to his hear.
“Hello.” he answered.
“It’s me, Gabriel.”
“What’s up, boss.”
“How is Mist?”
There was silence at both ends.
“Bring her body to the headquarters ASAP.” ordered Gabriel.
“That’s an order. Take the ambulence. Say it’s a government order.”
James was train not to ask any questions, so he hung up, turned around, and hit the gas.
“Hello James, er, and you, sir,” greeted Scott.
“How is the procedure going?” Gabriel asked.
“It’ll take another seven hours, I’m afriad.” answered Scott. “But now, we’re entering in the serum. Are you sure you want to do this?”
“What are the risks?” James asked.
“Either her body rejects the change, and dies, or she develops the new powers smoothly,”
“So she either dies or lives,” James growled.
“Hey, at least you have a chance of her living again!” Scott said back defensively.
James scowled, but just stood there.
Mist was in the middle of the lab, strapped on a bed. All around her were technology and metal, holding things that usually surgeon doctors would hold. What caught James’s eyes was the needle piercing though her flesh, and injecting a purple subsance in her. Mist was now the lab rat.
“This better work,” Gabriel muttered.
“Well, this is a formula that we’ve never tried before. Well, technically not. We just tweaked it a little from James’s injection, since we couldn’t make the exact thing because all was lost.” Scott explained, and started typing in commands.
James was focusing on Mist, not letting anything bad get by his eyes.
“How secure is this?” James asked.
“Procedure? I already told you—” started Scott.
“No, the room.”
“Oh completely. The intruder would have to get throught all those machines to get the Mist!”
“Then how do you get her out? Though those machines?” Gabriel asked.
“No, the machines will got back into the walls or ground and it would be just a normal white room.”
The other two men grumbled a reply, and stood and watched the procedure.
Seven hours later, the procedure was almost done because of a small delay of lunch and dinner. Scott, Gabriel, and James was tapping their feet impatiently for the prodedure to be done.
“Five more minutes …” Scott muttered.
“Finally!” Gabriel exclaimed.
Suddently, Mist’s eyes flashed open. The three men jumped, and backed up against the wall. Mist’s head turned, and surveyed her surroundings, and then saw the three guys.
“Let me out of here!” she yelled loud enough so that the three guys would hear her through the window.