5 Comments so far

1. ebonyruf on July 31, 2009 11:27 pm

   Does your brother have power of attorney to make decisions for your mom? If not, it’s not up to him to decide where she lives. They won’t admit anyone against their will unless the person isn’t able to make sound decisions due to illness, Alzheimer’s etc. then they need a copy of the legal POA paperwork. The doctor can give his opinion, but legally has no say as to where she should live. A community worker usually comes & interviews the person & the family members to determine what level of care is needed. Visiting nurses, retirement home, nursing home etc. In my area it’s called community care access center (CCAC) but may be different depending where you live. Call them & tell them what you told us here.

2. Mrs. B on July 31, 2009 11:52 pm

   Well, my first question is, does your mother still have the mental capacity to care for herself, or is your brother acting as her legal guardian? If your brother is her legal gaurdian, then there’s nothing you can do. If she checked herself into the nursing home, then she can check herself right back out. Cumodin is a VERY common medication, and yes, while she will need to be more careful about things, including her diet (no green veggies), she can still live a normal life. You may need to stay with her, or have her stay with you, or even have someone from a home health care agency come and be with her a few hours a day if you can’t be there all the time.
   But, like I said, your first order of business is to find out who is in charge, and go from there.

3. Sahara V on August 1, 2009 12:40 am

   Contact the nursing home immediately. Explain the situation and ask them if you could take your mother out safely.

4. Emaline U on August 1, 2009 1:11 am

   pinkflyd7, I put my grandma in a nursing home last year. It was a tough decision, but I found lots of advice and resources online.

5. Therapis on August 1, 2009 1:41 am

   maybe he doesn’t want your mother’s blood on his hands…
   i went through a similar thing with my mother and my brother… when my mother was dieing, my brother just couldn’t deal with it…. he wasn’t there and he sent his girlfriend to docs appointments… ect.. ect… at the time i was really angry with him but over time i realized that i could deal with it only from numbing myself… but he could not mentally deal with watching his mother die…. everyone deals with the death of a parent differently… if your brother can not deal with your mothers circumstances then he should step aside and let professionals handle your mothers health…
   besides if you have a problem with her health care then you should take her in to your home and you take care of her….